At My Worst
by sdara1
Summary: "She was so small huddled on the bathroom floor. Her knees were pulled tightly to her chest and her back and head leaned against the bath tub. She was ghostly pale in her grey leggings and blue NYPD t-shirt that would fit him. He couldn't tell if she was awake or asleep until a small voice came out."
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is just kind of a teaser or prologue, more chapters to come.**

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She had fallen asleep in his arms. Her back to his broad chest. His strong arms wrapped tightly around her. She had never been so at peace…Until she jolted awake just before three. Castle's arms were loose around her slim figure. She slipped out as quickly and as quietly as she could and sprinted to the adjoining bathroom.

He woke just minutes later, realizing that she was missing from bed, and couldn't remember her getting up. His throat was scratchy from the four hours he had been asleep so threw back the sheets and slowly walked to the bathroom rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. That's when he saw her.

She was so small huddled on the bathroom floor. Her knees were pulled tightly to her chest and her back and head leaned against the bath tub. She was ghostly pale in her grey leggings and blue NYPD t-shirt that would fit him. He couldn't tell if she was awake or asleep until a small voice came out.

"Castle?" It was rough and painful. Barely above a whisper.

"Kate? Everything ok?"

All he saw was her head shake in a 'no' then her arms unwrapped from their space around her legs and her head fell into them, trying to hold all the emotion in.

His face fell. As cute as she was, he felt so bad for her, but didn't know what to feel bad about. He fell to his knees in front of her, taking her into his arms. She shoved her face into his shirt, holding on tightly to his waist until the second wave came in.

She quickly detached herself from him, lunging to the open toilet bowl just in time. _Now _he understood what this was about.

He quickly grabbed her hair to get it out of her way. "Kate," he started but was silenced by more sickness. Holding her hair in one hand, Castle started mindlessly massaging circles on her back, trying to comfort her as much as he could.

When it finally stopped, she laid her head on the side of the bowl facing away from him so that he couldn't see her face. He reached up to flush the toilet and then reached over his shoulder to the counter for a hair band to get it off her neck. Luckily eighteen years of being a single father had taught him a thing or two about hair so he was able to get it up to a messy bun so that it was off of her neck and wouldn't bother her.

Finally she turned her head towards her, apparently done with the momentary embarrassment and willing to let him so her at her worst.

"Hey there," he started laying his hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. "How you feeling?"

All she could do was shake her head. He jumped up then and filled the cup next to the sink with water handing it to her with Tylenol. She gratefully took the cup and sipped at it slowly. When she was finished he took it out of her hand.

Finally after about an hour in the bathroom and no more sickness, she was practically asleep on his chest on floor, so he scooped her up and carried her off to bed. He hoped this wouldn't last in the morning, but knew how ignorant that was.

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this took so long. It was supposed to be up a long time ago, but studies and the start of softball season got in the way. I'm going to try and update this every weekend.**

The early morning sunlight poured throughout the room making her head pound as her eyes drifted open. Her throat felt like it had glass in it and her eyes were heavy from hours of sleep. The light was blinding so she shoved her head into the pillow and pulled the blanket up over her face, trying to block out the annoyance, but another annoyance came around the corner. It was a good thing she loved this annoyance.

"Kate? Kaaaaaaate?" It was already eleven and he was starting to get worried about her. She never slept this long. "Katherine Beckett, I know you're awake, turn around."

She slowly turned around in bed and saw him standing there.

"Caaaastle." It was so much whineier than he ever expected to hear from her that he had to laugh. "Don't laugh at me. I'm sick."

"I know that, love."

"No, nuh-huh. Just cause I feel like…"

Her sentence trailed off as she threw the covers back and ran to the bathroom for round two. Castle follows quickly behind her. When he comes in he sees her lying with her head on the side of the toilet. He wets a wash cloth with cold water and starts by slowly padding it on her face. He then runs the back of his hand across her forehead.

"Kate, you're burning up, babe."

"No, no babe. No love. No pet names."

It's so pathetic, but he suppresses his laugh. "Kate, what do you need?"

"To…to go back to my apartment so you don't see me like this."

"As cute as it that you think I'll feel differently of you after seeing you get sick twice, trust me, as a father, I've seen the worst. Just let me take care of you."

There's a heavy silence between them. He can't quite gage what she's thinking, but she turns towards him and lifts her hands to him. He reaches down and helps her to her feet. He thinks she is just going to walk back into the bedroom, but she leans into his chest and wraps her arms around his waist tightly. She tucks her face into his neck and sighs deeply. He responds by wrapping his arms just as tightly around her shoulders.

"Ok, Cas, take care of me."

When he finally gets her settled back in bed he goes quickly into the kitchen. He realizes no one ever contacted the precinct and hopes she is not in any trouble. He digs is phone out of his back pocket and dials Espo's number. The detective picks up on the first ring.

"Yo, Castle."

"Hey, Beckett's really sick today. I think it's just the flu, but she won't be in. I hope Gates isn't pissed at her."

"Nah, Ryan and I covered, said she was running down a lead. I'll let Gates know she's out for the next couple days."

Castle is greatful. Kate really shouldn't be going into work for at least the next two days. "Thanks man."

"Ya. Tell Beckett, Ryan and I say to get better. If it gets worse you might want to call Lanie to check on her."

"Oh, ya. Good idea. Didn't even think of that. Thanks." And with that Castle hangs up and slides his phone back into his pocket while he walks over to the kitchen. Without thinking he starts coffee, then realizes that it's probably not the best thing for a restless stomach.

As he makes tea he realizes that, even though they've been together for ten months he has no idea what to do when she gets sick.

"Guess there's only one way to find out," he mumbles to himself.

Then he picks her phone up off the dining room table where she left it last night and scrolls through her contacts until he finds the one he was looking for. He presses the call button.


	3. Chapter 3

**The response to this story has been amazing! Thank you all so much! I'm going to try and update again tomorrow because I have no classes and nothing to do while waiting for the 100th tomorrow! This chapter is a little longer, and the next one will be even longer!**

"Katie?"

"Ah, no, actually. This is Rick."

"Rick? Is everything ok with Katie?"

What the hell was he thinking?! He called Jim. Kate's _dad._ Ah, well. Mistakes already made. Might as well go with it.

"Yeah, she's fine. Just a little under the weather. I was wondering if you could give me some suggestions on what makes her feel better? I've never seen her sick before, and she won't tell me anything."

Jim laughed. He actually _laughed_ at the fact that Castle didn't know what to do?!

"Oh, Rick. Katie is the single most difficult person when she's sick. Her and her mother both were. Whatever you do, don't offer her tea."

Rick looked over at the stove where the hot water was boiling and then put the bag of tea he had out for her back in the pantry. "Ok, no tea. Anything else?"

"If she's throwing up she won't have much of an appetite, but the one thing you can always get her to eat is strawberry fruit snacks. She also won't drink water, one of the weird things about her when she's sick. Johanna used to always give her Sprite. Sooths her throat and makes her feel better."

"Ok! Thank you so much, Jim!"

Jim laughed again. "Oh no, good luck to you Rick. You're going to need it."

As he hung up the phone with Jim all he could think about was what he was getting himself into. It can't be that bad right…_right?!_

He was wrong.

"Castle?" It was weak. Barely above a whisper. Had he not been standing right next to her side of the bed he probably wouldn't have heard it.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" He sat down on her side of the bed as she rolled over closer to the middle. She looked frail, worn out, tired. Her hair was messy and coming out of the braid she put it into when he went into the kitchen. She was ghostly white. He ran his hand over her forehead to check her temperature again, and she quickly moved her head to get away from his hand, which is a move she regretted. As soon as she felt the throbbing in her head she curled back up onto her side, closer to him. He grabbed her hand and kissed it lightly.

"Where you going?"

"The store. I called your dad and he gave me some suggestions to help you out. You have a sore throat?"

She only nodded her head once, not wanting to strain her voice any more.

"Need anything in particular?"

"No…I'm sure after more than thirty years my dad knows me well."

He laughed lightly and she gave him a faint smile, which gives him hope for her getting better.

"Get some sleep when I'm gone. When I get home you're gonna get tired of me."

Another smile. Another good sign.

* * *

As he made his way down to the parking garage at his apartment building he pulled up the note section of his phone to jot down a few notes. He noted that he needs to get her fruit snacks and sprite and tried to think of anything else she might need. All of the sudden his phone beeped with a text. It was from Kate.

_Frozen waffles? _

He laughed at that. This girl was weird when she was sick.

_Seriously? You are such a weirdo…yes of course. Text me with anything else you need, beautiful._

He added in the pet name just to drive her crazy. His phone beeped again.

_STOP IT!_

A huge smile made way on his face as he walked up to the car and unlocked the doors. This was going to be a long recovery for both of them.

* * *

He pulled up to the super market and parked his car. He pulled out his phone once more to make sure he hadn't missed anything. There was another text from Kate.

_Oyster crackers? Not full saltines. They're gross. Thanks, babe ;)_

He laughed. This woman was insane.

He walked into the grocery store grabbing a basket. He quickly made his way over to the fresh produce section thinking that she might want some fruit as she starts feeling better. He then made his way to get the rest of the thing Jim had told him he wanted. Finally he got the frozen waffles and the crackers Kate had requested and headed to check out.

He was pretty proud of himself. A few hours down and he hadn't hurt his patient yet. As he got back in the car he pulled out his phone and sent another text to Kate.

_Just finished at the store. On my way back to the loft._

His phone beeped almost immediately with another text.

_Thanks, Castle. Hurry back?_

He typed back his response quickly before starting the car.

_Of course._

He pulled the car out of the parking spot and started on his way home to Kate. This was going to be an interesting day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Spoiler alert in case you aren't up to date with the episodes: Reference to the end scene in 5x17.**

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Castle flung the door open to the loft, bags in hand. He quickly made his way to the kitchen and put everything he had gotten at the store away. He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and poured her a glass of the Sprite and grabbed her pack of the fruit snacks. After setting those on the counter he booked it up the stairs to grab Tylenol for her, hoping that it would reduce her fever. He came back down the stairs and grabbed the fruit snacks and the glass of Sprite and made his way to the bedroom.

When he entered the room the only light was from the bed side lamp that was turned on the lowest setting. She lay on her stomach, head turned away from the door. Her arms were sprawled out all over the bed and her hair was a heap of curls spread across the pillows.

He made his way over to the bed, setting everything on the bedside table and moving his hand in slow circles on her back. She stirred, tucking her head further into the pillows, trying to find more darkness but not succeeding.

"Hey," he whispered softly. He didn't want to force her to wake up, but she needed to take medicine to get her fever under control.

She winced as she opened her eyes. The light from the lamp on the bedside table was too much for her throbbing head. He moved to sit on the side of the bed next to her hip, never removing his hand from her back. He took his other hand and pushed the curtain of hair lining her face away so that he revealed half her face. She slowly turned onto her side, wrapping her small figure around his waist.

"I brought you some Tylenol since you're running a fever. I also brought some fruit snack. Your dad said that would help to sooth your stomach."

"Thanks," she mumbled. Her voice was practically gone and he shushed her with his lips on hers. "Don't kiss me, you'll get sick," she whispered. He just smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss again.

"Let's get medicine in you. Then I have a little bit of a surprise for you."

She rolled over the rest of the way so that she was on her back, and then tried to sit up. Her body was stiff and not moving how it usually does. Luckily he was right there, ready and happy to help. He put two white pills in one hand and the glass of Sprite in the other, then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Be right back." He ran out the room into his study.

He returned just as she was swallowing the second pill and opening the fruit snacks. His arms were filled with blankets and pillows. When he entered the room he promptly threw them all on the bed making her laugh. "I thought we could make a fort on the bed." She smiled up at him, watching him in amazement. He was so wonderful at taking care of her and she was so grateful for him being there. She needed more of it. She needed him to be here, and loved the fact that when she was sick she had someone right there ready to run out and get her anything she needs. She also had someone who would make her a fort in bed and cuddle up with her.

"You said you had a surprise for me?" She whispered. He smiled, very excited for this surprise. He had been saving this for about two years hoping that one day he would get to show it to her.

"Do you remember when you told me about getting your tonsils taken out when you were young?" She nodded remembering the conversation they had at her desk two years ago. "Ok,well after that I decided to try out Temptation Lane, just to see what it was all about and why you loved it so much." She blushed at the thought that he was taking an interest in what she was interested in. Even before they were together he cared so much about her. He continued, "Well, I obviously already had being with you at the top of my bucket list so I DVR'ed a few of the episodes in case something like this every happened." He trailed off toward the end of the sentence because he was not sure if he had over stepped or not.

"Are you telling me that two years later you have old episodes of Temptation Lane for us to watch right now?" It took everything she had to get the sentence out, but she wasn't going to leave him hanging and make him tell the whole story by himself. He looked timid, but he nodded. He was pretty sure he hadn't over-stepped, but didn't know what to expect from her when she is sick. Then she smiled. It was the biggest smile he had seen on her face. The grin was ear-to-ear and he gratefully returned the smile. They sat there for a moment basking in the eye contact until he finally broke it.

He began arranging the pillows and blankets all around the bed and grabbed the remote control. He settled back against the head board with blankets sprawled across his legs and pillows around his back and on his sides. She moved over and settled into his side, resting her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. He flipped on the television in the bedroom and turned on the DVR going to the saved episodes of Temptation Lane.

"Sorry there aren't that many. I only saved a few episodes because I had other things I was recording."

"Like every episode of Game of Thrones?"

"Hey! That is important and you know it!"

She smiled into his shoulder as he moved his arms around his shoulders and tightened his grip.

"Maybe when we're done with this I'll get you hooked on Game of Thrones," he mumbled under his breath, making her smile grow.

There was a lot of heat coming off of her body and he realized he hadn't asked how she was feeling. "Hey," he started moving her back a little bit so he could see her face. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything else?"

She nodded her head no. "Maybe just a little more rest. And a little more of this," she said, settling back onto his chest.

The heat radiating off her body was incredibly hot and her voice sounded like it was the most painful thing ever to talk, but he didn't pry. He hoped that if there was something wrong she would not shut him out. If the day so far was an indicator, he was right.

She was out before the theme song on the show was done and he followed her into sleep quickly. The peace could only last for so long.

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**I still have about four hours until 5x19 airs here, but here it to what is certain to be a great episode and 100 more amazing episodes!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Been a while huh? Sorry about the lack of updates. There's really no excuse except for lack of ideas recently. I am wrapping this one up really soon. There will probably only be one more after this chapter, which I will try to get up before Still tomorrow night. Thank you to everyone who has been following it. I am working on another one shot that will hopefully be up later this week.**

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Two hours later she was booking it to the bathroom again. Castle felt the pressure on his chest when she pushed off of him sprinting full on for the bathroom. His chest was a puddle of sweat and he wondered if it was from her. As he got up out of bed to follow her to the bathroom he made a mental note to check for a fever.

When he entered the bathroom Kate sat on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest and her head flung back on the corner of the bath tub. She looked pale and absolutely miserable. He did what he had done earlier that day, wetted a wash cloth and handed it to her. He smoothly brushed his hand against her forehead. She was on fire.

"Sorry," she croaked. Her throat was obviously killing her. He smiled down at her even though her eyes were closed and she couldn't see him. He rubbed the wash cloth gently around her face and threw it back toward the sink. He couldn't tell if she was even still awake and without thinking about it he put and arm under her neck and another one under her knees and eased her up into his arms. Kate curled into him, not once thinking about how pathetic it was that her boyfriend was carrying her because she was too weak to walk the fifteen or less steps back to bed.

He gently laid her on the bed and went back to the bathroom to get her some medicine and water. When he came back into the room she was out cold, spread out in the middle of the bed. Seeing as there was no place for him to sit he set the medicine and the water on his bed side table (that was the side she was closes to), and made his way to office to write.

* * *

Kate woke to a scratchy throat, a pounding head, but best of all the smell of Castle's cologne. After orienting herself she realized he was not in bed with her, and that she was all the way over on her side of the bed. Looking up at his night stand, she saw the medicine and the water and gratefully accepted it. Then she rolled over to her side and looked at her phone. Dozens of missed texts and calls, all from the precinct. Great.

She pushed back the covers and slowly padded into his office where his back was turned to her, feet up on the desk, lap top in lap writing. She smiled briefly as he turned around.

"Hey," he jumped to his feet to give her a bone crushing hug. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged and tightened her grip around his waist. She's needed this: the closeness with him; she needed him just holding her and soothing all her pain away. A day off was a perfect thing for today.

"I'm actually kind of hungry." Her voice was so quiet, so not like her usually Detective Beckett voice that he worried about her. "Just something small."

"Soup?" He asked. She nodded in response.

The two made their way to the kitchen. Kate took a seat at the bar while Castle got out a can of soup for them to split.

"Do you know what brought this on?" He was curious. Her sickness seemed out of nowhere. In five years, she had not been sick once and now all of the sudden she was, it just didn't make sense.

"No. I almost never get sick," she said, her words reflecting his thoughts.

* * *

When their dinner was gone they made their way to the couch. Castle flipped on the TV and went straight for the saved DVR recordings. He turned on Temptation Lane.

Castle sat down not too far away from Kate, but close enough that she could come close the gap if she wanted to; she did. She curled into his side resting her head on his shoulder and a hand over his heart. He threw his arms over the back of the couch to give her more closeness.

"You know, when you ran to the bathroom to throw up in the middle of the night, I thought you might be pregnant." He had said it as a joke, but when he felt Kate's head snap up for him shoulder and he saw the look in her eyes, he realized it wasn't so funny.

It was a look he had never seen before. A little bit of fear mixed with desperation. It looked like she had just remembered something terrible. What he didn't know is that these thoughts going through his mind were exactly what that look meant.

"Kate?"

The question hung in the air for a while, until Kate jumped off the couch and sprinted for their bathroom.


End file.
